How To Be A Below-Average Housewife. Tip #1.

Forgo flowers and go with basketballs instead. They require no water, sunshine, or pruning…and they are useful.


How To Be A Below-Average Housewife. Tip #2.

A sock bucket. Straight out of dryer, socks are paired and put into a collective sock bucket. Everyone is responsible for finding their own socks each morning as they get dressed. Pretty sure this alone has saved me hours of time in sorting and putting away duties…

(If this makes you twitch, don’t do it. But if you have the vision for it, it’s basically genius).


How To Be A Below-Average Housewife. Tip #3.

Silverware Bucket. Along the same lines as the sock bucket, all silverware goes directly from dishwasher into bucket..which sits on kitchen table. No drawer dividers needed. No precious time wasted sorting. And it turns out, children are capable of finding their own spoon from a bucket of mixed silverware…



How To Be A Below-Average Housewife. Tip #4.

Find a friend who likes to bake/cook. Go to her house, sit in her kitchen, drink coffee, make her laugh and watch her bake.

If you look pathetic enough, she will send you home with a plate of cookies. Present it to your husband saying, “I made you cookies.”

How To Be A Below-Average Housewife. Tip #5.

Take fruit that is about to go bad…oranges, lemons, apples, pears, cranberries. Put in a pot with water and cinnamon. Simmer on the stove.

If I’m at home, I have this going. It calms me. And covers up the pee smell.#6boyslivehere


9 Responses to How To Be a Below-Average Housewife

  1. Bri Schaaf says:

    Oh My goodness…I just about died laughing!!! Forgive the Snort that happened on the Pee Smell…

    Great tips!! 🙂

  2. Holly says:

    so cute…and so true.

  3. Holly says:

    AH!!!!!!! NOT THAT YOU’RE A BAD HOUSE WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S NOT WHAT’S TRUE!!! Ah haha ha ha!!! Wow Holly…I just meant it’s true that all these work! Oh my goodness…

  4. Mary Kay Reynolds says:

    No. 2 and 3 isn’t “below average” it’s smart and efficient.

  5. Deborah says:

    Number four is genius. Oh–and there is no way you are below-average in anything. I have known you since you were a baby— you’ve never been average, not to mention below average!

  6. Laura Clapp says:

    My version of number 4 is to find friends who sew and are crafty. They come in very handy. It took me a long time to relent to the idea that I am NEVER going to actually learn to sew, and I am NEVER going to enjoy doing crafty things!!

  7. Sarah Guild says:

    One of my favorite posts yet. Especially tip #5. Only three boys live here but the pee smell – ick.

  8. Amy Bailey says:

    Another tip that’s served well – late in the afternoon put some chopped onions and garlic in a pan with oil, heat slowly so it smells like dinner is on the way. Also, dab a little Pine-Sol behind the ears so you smell industrious and perhaps a little exhausted. It’s fooled my family for many years.

    A caveat – at some point they may actually want dinner. Can’t help you there, sister.

  9. Stephanie says:

    I absolutely love your blog!!! I have been reading it for a few years and it just gets better and better. You are a great writer with an amazing sense of humor. I am so jealous! This particular post is my all time favorite. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

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