I read somewhere once to “pay attention to your tears.”
It’s a simple discipline that I do try and practice.
When the goose bumps come and the tears start to gather quietly.
I just take note.
Thus. Things that are making me cry these days:
1. I should of never opened that old photo box.
And this one is pretty easy to explain…
2. During one of our parent-teacher conferences, one of the teachers said,
“One thing about Child X is that he has a really deep understanding of God’s love for him. And that produces some freedom for him.”
Ha. We get it.
We understood that it was a bit of a critique disguised as a compliment. It could of been said like, “He doesn’t seem to be overly concerned about following all the rules.”
We know this child. And we agree.
We all laughed.
I turned to Andy and said, “Well, I guess, if there is anything I want our kids to know. It’s that.”
And then on the way home, I cried.
I cried. Because that is actually so, so huge. This is so much bigger than behavior modification and control.
And for a family that gets so many things wrong, I really hope we get this one right.
God is crazy about you.
He is for you.
He loves you.
3. I picked up Zeke from tutoring and was taking him to school. I looked at him in the rearview mirror and said, “Zeke. I’m really proud of you for working so hard on your reading. You are doing a really good job.”
And he said, “Thanks, Mom. You too.”
Um. Sweetest. Boy. Ever.
And I cried.
Not because my own reading proficiency is actually improving too, but because my son—my son who can’t even seem to get himself on the reading chart to be in the red zone— had read me.
He had read the emotions. He had read my body language. He was paying attention to the stress that I was feeling after the last round of parent-teacher conferences. He noticed how hard I was working. He was reading the dynamics. He was reading me.
He is mastering empathy.
And all of a sudden, that became an indicator of success far more important than how many words he can read in an minute.
And at the very same time. This. I cried every time I read this today. Which was about 17 times.
“People who don’t give up on slow or challenged students will get the best seats in heaven. I don’t know a lot, but I know this to be true.
To me, teaching is a holy calling, especially with students less likely to succeed. It’s the gift not only of not giving up on people, but of even figuring out where to begin.
You start wherever you can. You see a great need, so you thread a needle, you tie a knot in your thread. You find one place in the cloth through which to take one stitch, one simple stitch, nothing fancy, just one that’s strong and true. The knot will anchor your thread. Once that’s done, you take one more stitch–teach someone the alphabet, no matter how long it takes, and then how to read Dr. Suess, and Charlotte’s Web, and A Wrinkle in Time, and then, while you’re at it, how to get a GED. Empathy is meaning.” (Lamott)
4. Now. Don’t judge me. This one is a little weird.
You may of seen this video making the rounds. It’s of a couple who practiced and performed the dance from the movie, Dirty Dancing, at their wedding reception.
It’s so cute. So fun.
And I sobbed.
I have no idea why.
But I’m exploring it.
So there you have it.
It has been an overwhelming week…which happens about once a month…and there are some big changes on the horizon…and I don’t love change….and it’s a crazy, busy time of year which always adds a bit of tension.
But regardless..I’m paying attention.